<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>It's Still Raining by moonysidehoe</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29838081">It's Still Raining</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonysidehoe/pseuds/moonysidehoe'>moonysidehoe</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, The Deathly Hallows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:14:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29838081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonysidehoe/pseuds/moonysidehoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I had seen a TikTok POV by @.yourhogwartsadventure that inspired me to write this piece! </p><p>This is my original work, and my take on the afterlife. </p><p>It takes place during The Deathly Hallows, specifically The Battle of Hogwarts</p><p>Remus and Sirius meet in the afterlife, after being separated by death for two years. </p><p>I hope you enjoy it! &lt;3</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Still Raining</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were a lot of misconceptions regarding the afterlife. Particularly, heaven, Sirius realised. As upon his entry, he was not met by a pair of angel guards stationed at the pearly white gates of a magnificent palace, nor was he met with vast nothingness amongst an abundance of clouds. Sirius had come to realise that heaven was the place in which you felt your safest and happiest in your life. Why people thought a white void would be the key to eternal contentment, Sirius knew not.</p><p>All he knew upon his arrival in heaven two years ago, was that he had landed in the front garden of the Potter’s mansion. Sirius had thought during his days in Azkaban, how it would have unsettled him so to see the Potter Mansion dull and grim with no Potter to be found inside. Contrary to how he remembered the mansion to be bustling with soul and love. However, when Sirius had landed in the garden of the mansion for the first time since his youth, the sight of warmth and animation within the house, disconcerted him far more than the prospect of a dull and grim dwelling.</p><p>Although Sirius was uneasy upon seeing the mansion in its pre-war glory, he had felt gravitated to go inside, just as he had when he was sixteen running away from the hell he knew existed on Earth. He had walked up the steps of the porch, and placed his hand on the doorknob, turning it out of mere habit, as it was always unlocked in the early days. And even on that day, with the current climate of the world, it still opened without a key.</p><p>When Sirius stepped inside, he felt sixteen again. The fireplace was crackling, as though it had just been told a heart-warming joke. There was a soft tune coming from the record player that occupied its usual spot on the shelf beside the fireplace. There were two mugs of something undoubtedly sweet steaming inside, placed on the coffee table, situated in front of the deep scarlet sofa, that looked as though it had never been new because of how worn it was.</p><p>Sirius was home. The contentment and naturality he felt at being back caused him to whip his head towards the staircase, about to yell for the boys as Euphemia had just notified him dinner was ready and settled, asking him to spread the word. Sirius’ mouth began to shape itself to enunciate the name he never thought he would call again, yet before he could utter a syllable, he was interrupted.</p><p>‘Sirius?’ There was only person who Sirius had known in this life with a voice as honeyed as that. Sirius turned, facing Lily, her long auburn hair cascaded down beautifully as it always had during life. Though her features were obviously discountenanced, as they possessed an expression of mingled fear and confusion, she was still as enamoring as she had always been, even in death.</p><p>‘Evans,’ The corners of Sirius’ mouth turned ever so slightly upward.</p><p>Lily brought her hand to her face, covering her mouth, as the tears had instantaneously prickled her eyes. She trembled as she tried to suppress her sobs.</p><p>‘No, no, no!’ She despaired, as Sirius joined her side within seconds.</p><p>‘Shhh,’ Sirius had tried to soothe her, but to no avail. She only cried harder, exacerbating her trembling, as Sirius had engulfed her in an embrace that had only confirmed that what she simply wished was her mere delusion, was in fact, her reality instead.</p><p>It was only a matter of time, however, for James to descend from upstairs, as Lily’s sobs had thwacked and clobbered throughout the walls of the house, inevitably grabbing his attention. Sirius had heard the all too familiar footfalls approaching, and as he looked up his breath hitched. Despite his knowing it was James, he saw Harry and felt his body prepare for the misery it ought to have endured if it really were him.</p><p>James’ mouth was agape, as he processed the scene before him. He shook his head, tears beginning to well in his own eyes, as he advanced towards them, dropping to his knees, and covering their bodies in a bone-crushing embrace.</p><p>‘Pads-‘ He sobbed, ‘why- why are you here?’ Sirius could not help the tears threatening to spill as he never imagined a reunion between them to be as fervent and wretched as this. They had remained in this position for what seemed like hours; it was quite plausible that hours had passed, as when the blubbering, and the weeping, and the sniffles had all ceased, Sirius explained what he understood. But yet, even after this explanation, the air grew thicker with desolation, as each of them had felt the burdens they bore in life, intensify even now in death.</p><p>Lily and James, though hospitable and wonderful as they were, refused to entertain the idea of any more inhabitants in the Potter Mansion. The mere prospect of another reunion was insufferable they had said, and Sirius could not have agreed more.</p><p>—</p><p>Much to Sirius’ dismay, however, being dead did not have any benefits like overseeing the loved ones you left behind; this was yet another misconception Sirius discovered. Sirius, upon learning this, felt his pain deepen (which he believed was completely unjust, as he should no longer be subjected to the impositions of feeling), as he realised, the prospect of seeing Harry again was slim, and by extension, the impossibility of seeing his Moony was unendurable.</p><p>Even after the days that had followed his arrival, and the initial collective wailing, Sirius could not grieve in front of James and Lily. It was not as though they had never seen him cry or despair before, but instead, these specific lamentations, were selfishly not about the brilliant young man he had left behind, but instead of the scarred, mousy-haired angel Sirius thought he never could truly deserve.</p><p>Before Sirius had drifted away and arrived at the Potter’s, he had watched Moony through the veil. Somehow that was possible, and Sirius wished it were not. He had merely observed Remus fall before him, sobbing so violently, that his sobs had become gasps as he knew not how to breathe, as though his love dared to choke him, his tears prevailed to spill as though they planned to drain his Moony from all emotion entirely. And Sirius could do all but nothing.</p><p>He held himself in the highest contempt for being the cause of Remus’ sorrow yet again, as there were no means for Sirius to make any sort of amends to his Moony this time. His disdain only seemed to increase, as he had begun to feel his own lips tremble and eyes sting the longer he watched. How dare he cry when he had hurt his Moony again after he swore would never repeat that mistake? Sirius’ guilt had begun to consume him, as he yielded to his sensibilities.</p><p>It was then Sirius had blinked as the tears began to fall, and upon opening his eyes again, the sight that materialised before him was not the dull, odd room of the Department of Mysteries, but instead the house of the Potter’s. When he had detached himself from Lily and James, Sirius confined himself in the old spare room he and Moony would share over the summer. It was then, Sirius had realised that was the precise moment, in which he had been separated from his Moony, forever.</p><p>Sirius was unsure whether this was a natural phenomenon within the afterlife, but over the course of the two years he had resided there, his days were varied. In the sense that, there were times where the pain seemed to ease, and ironically, it felt as though Sirius could breathe again. It were on days like this where Sirius was able to accompany Lily and James to breakfast, lunch, and dinner, was able to remain in their presence and complete the most mundane of tasks like reading, which Sirius found himself doing a lot. Some days, however, when James and Sirius grew impatient with mundanity (as they were bound to) they would fly upon their old brooms that still resided in the old shed and alternate between chaser and keeper for a couple of hours, just as they had done in their glory days, as they had done when they were alive.</p><p>Though there were other days where the pain had struck him so brutally, it felt as though he had never died. His mind would race to all whom he loved. Yet he had felt selfish, as two of the four, he was reunited with. However, the prospect of a reunion was something Sirius had no desire of engaging in. It was this that tormented him, the possibility of meeting again too soon.</p><p>These despairing fits varied in length, yet Sirius bothered not to take note of the number of minutes that passed, as time was a matter of paramount insignificance when his affliction climaxed as excruciatingly as it did. Leaving him to shudder and gasp for air that he had no use for. It were moments as agonising as this, when James and Lily’s hospitality and tenderness could only extend so far, that it became obsolete. It was then Sirius was left with the only remedy that was assured would always work for him in times of need. The remedy, which he could no longer hold, but still happened to work, all the same, was Remus.</p><p>Sirius had wondered whether Remus had it worse than he did, what with the war he was still fighting. He had wondered whether he were a remedy for Remus when his pain was particularly terrible. He also wondered if Remus would ever be able to cope normally again, without the dependency of a remedy. Perhaps, he could move on and maybe forget Sirius if he had willed himself to do so hard enough. Sirius wished he would. Although he knew that if Remus ever overcame his love for him (Though relieved he would be for Remus’ pain to finally subside) Sirius was sure the profundity of his misery would reach such depths it would almost resemble how deeply he adored his Moony.</p><p>The worst thing was the fact that Sirius internalised all his suffering, as to burden orphaned parents who had the hardship of never knowing their son, with his own pity parties was enough to make him cringe at his childishness. This is why Lily and James had only ever seen Sirius cry once upon his arrival. They would find him after the worst was over, as though they could sense the exact moment when Sirius was appropriate to receive their comforting and remain with him until he insisted that he was okay.</p><p>Today, however, was a particularly good day. Sirius stood beside the window, nursing a mug of homemade Butterbeer in his hand, as the record player sang, and Lily and James were engaged in another game of chess. Today, Sirius was okay, and he smiled to himself at the fact of being so. He diverted his eyes from the window, as James whined about Lily’s apparent cheating. Lily and Sirius had laughed heartily, as all three of them knew that James was simply deficient in his chess skills.</p><p>However, within that second, a crack was sounded outside. The hearty laughter had stopped, and their eyes had widened in apprehension. Sirius’ hands began to tremble and thanked the mug for its existence as he had something to hold. Shuffling could be heard outdoors, and as Sirius could not bear the wait, he ripped his eyes to the window.<br/>
Sirius felt James’ presence beside him in an instant, as he took in the scene before him.</p><p>‘James… Why is Moony here?’ He had whispered, his bottom lip quivering, never taking his eyes from him. ‘He- He isn’t meant to be here, James… Why is he here?! That’s- That’s not fair!’ The volume of Sirius’ voice had increased, and just as James opened his mouth, no doubt to soothe Sirius in some way, the door had opened.</p><p>‘Hello?’ The soft Welsh accent that flooded Sirius’ ears made him close his eyes, as he knew tears were bound to fall. Sirius was still facing the window when he felt James move away from him as he greeted Moony.</p><p>‘Hello, love,’ Lily had said with a sad smile, wrapping her arms around Remus’ torso. Soon after James had engulfed the both of them in a hug, remaining just as they had when Sirius had arrived two years ago. Except, this was all wrong. Moony was not meant to be here.</p><p>Eventually, they broke apart, all turning to look to Sirius. He pretended to stare back through the window, even when he acknowledged the three sets of eyes on him.</p><p>‘Padfoot?’ Remus had uttered tenderly, stepping forward. Sirius pursed his lips together, in an attempt to prevent them from trembling, as he breathed deeply through his nose. He shook his head, ridding his mind of the voice he knew it were impossible to hear again.</p><p>There was some shuffling after Sirius had not responded. Hoping it was Remus moving away from him, Sirius opened his eyes and turned to face James ready to despair, as he decided today was the exception, given his cruel hallucinations.</p><p>Yet, when Sirius turned, he was instead faced with his darling boy. Remus, upon finally obtaining Sirius’ attention, smiled warmly at him, his eyes animated and overall, he exuded a peaceful countenance, which only made him all the more beautiful, something Sirius could not understand. Perhaps, there were somethings you never understood, even after you died, and this was one of them. How Remus was here, deceased, and looked happy? Sirius felt his contempt rising, but this time it was not directed towards himself.</p><p>‘What are you doing here?!’ The words were out before he could determine the tone of voice he wished to assume, as Remus had flinched at the harshness of his words. He took no time, however, to recollect himself, as he were no stranger to Sirius’ scolding.</p><p>‘When it happened I-‘</p><p>‘No! Stop! I don’t want to hear it!’ Sirius boomed, turning his back to Remus, and covering his mouth with his hand as the sobs threatened to jump out. The only comfort Sirius had was the fact in knowing he could simply be imagining this, but as Remus came up behind him, and placed a hand on the back of Sirius’ arm, his eyes snapped open once more, as his last shred of comfort was diminished.</p><p>‘Why didn’t you fight?! Why didn’t you try?! I do not want you here, Remus! I never wanted to see you again!’ Sirius roared, discarding his mug, pressing his hands against Remus’ chest, and pushing back, hard. Remus grabbed hold of Sirius’ wrists, trying to hold his hands, but Sirius ripped them from Remus’ grasp.</p><p>‘You were meant to live! How dare you! How dare you!’ His rage had reached a resounding degree, so much so, that he was wholly incapable of preventing the tears from falling as he issued his reprimands to Remus. However, in the midst of his own ire, Sirius had not realised Remus’ increasing indignation.</p><p>‘I could say the same to you! How dare you leave me?! How dare you force me to endure the loss of you a second time?!’ Remus’ tone matched Sirius’ within an instant.</p><p>‘Oh, believe me, I hate myself far more than you ever could! Do you think it was easy for me here? Where I would wake some days and it felt as though I had never even died because I hated myself so much for leaving you!’ Sirius screamed, his tears continuing to fall.</p><p>‘No! You don’t get to do that! I hate you, Sirius! You put me through hell twice-‘</p><p>‘You’re better off there than here!’ Sirius knew it was a weak rebuttal, but anything that came to mind was said, particularly in moments like these between Sirius and Remus.</p><p>‘A bit redundant, Sirius, considering how much you wished I never even died!’ Remus bellowed. ‘And to think!-‘ He laughed, something he tended to do during arguments, which only infuriated Sirius more.</p><p>‘To think, that the second that curse hit my chest, I thought of you! I thought I could finally see you again! To think that the idea of you brought me peace!’ Remus’ voice could not accommodate for the level of volume he was aiming for, as his voice cracked, though presumably, it could also be the result of the rapid stream of tears spilling from his own eyes.</p><p>Sirius faltered for a moment, as seeing Remus cry would always be a sentiment of Sirius’ that would undoubtedly make him yield every time.</p><p>‘Moony, listen-‘</p><p>‘No! You listen to me!’ Remus commanded; the severity of his tone indicated that he was not to be interrupted.</p><p>‘Dying wasn’t a particularly flash experience for me either! But I did try! And I fought! I fought hard, without you, for two years! You say some days your pain would return, well, mine never left Sirius! I have been missing you for most of my life, and the second I felt my grip actually slip, I did not rejoice in the loss of my life, but instead, I rejoiced in the thought of freedom, of peace, of time away from the agony that could and would never have left me! Selfishly, I thought of you and how we could really keep our promises of forever, and whatever else we swore to, because there is nowhere else to go, Sirius! I am here, and as far as I am concerned, we are here for a while. Whether you resent me now and cannot love me anymore matters not, because I-‘ Remus’ voice cracked again, he shook his head, his hands dancing on their own accord now.</p><p>‘Moony, I adore you,’ Sirius had said immediately.</p><p>Remus’ face had softened within an instant at hearing those words. Sirius' expression, however, was still hard, as he chose his next words meticulously.</p><p>‘I have never stopped; could never have stopped even if I’d tried. I do not resent you; I do not hate you, Moony, we should both know by now that is impossible,’ Sirius looked down, as the intensity of Remus’ gaze was far too much to bear during his proclamation.</p><p>‘I loved you so much that the thought of you dying, killed me even after I had left. It has tormented me ever since, and unlike you, I can’t rejoice in seeing you again, because it’s the one thing I never wanted; not because I didn’t love you, but because I loved so much that I wanted you to live, even if that meant without me,’ Sirius sniffled, keeping his eyes downcast. ‘Can you understand what it was like seeing the one thing I feared most come true?’</p><p>Sirius felt Remus' hand lift his chin up, as his thumb caressed his cheek. Sirius met Remus’ eyes as he looked up, only now acknowledging their close proximity. His lip still quivered, even after Remus had smiled warmly at him again. Placing his hand over Remus’, Sirius leaned in, resting his forehead against his lover’s.</p><p>Although Sirius wished their reunion were under different circumstances, he could not but melt in Remus’ hold. Bridging the gap, Sirius connected their lips in the most tender of kisses, pulling Remus closer to him by his waist, as he whispered:</p><p>‘Welcome home, Moony,’</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>